Tanner's Poem

My Friend Procrastination

What sayest Thou is man's best friend?
If thou thinketh it the dog,
Thou hast better guess again
For of truth, says I
His greatest friend must be
The one that ever beckoneth
to man, both me and thee
It's name is Procrastinate
And a handy friend it be
Whilst burdened by my labors
It always setteth free
To me it speaketh good things
"Thou hast more time indeed"
And with my chores forgotten
I draw or sleep or read.
Yet always it becometh
That my time is somehow spent
And regretteth I that costly gift
That my friend so kindly lent

Men such as I spend their days
To entertain such friends as he
Blinded to that the fact that now
He hath become their enemy
They putteth off their work
to sleep and dance and play
Saying "I will save the work
for a far-off future day"
Yet much sooner than expected
The day at last will come
The bell will ring the fat lady sing
and their toes will all feel numb
Surely one amongst them
will with emotion say
"I had not time to do the work,
Please grant another day."

On and on the story goes
of men who procrastinate
Who setteth aside their labor
for chance to recreate
Their fields are never plowed
Their houses never cleaned
Their knowledge never furthered
Their vineyards never gleaned
Their dreams never realized
Their songs are never sung
Never are their fortunes found
Their races never won
Their repentance is delayed
Their good name is diminished
They leave this world without their mark
Their poems are never

A Fan Meets Tanner and Bryan

Tonight we got see Jon Schmidt, live in concert. Even our highest expectations were surpassed. Not only was he an amazing pianist with an incredible ability to improvise, he was also a quality entertainer. We thought we had seen the extent of his antics when he played a song whilst laying on his back with his arms crossed. However he surprised us by playing songs with everything from his head to his elbows to his feet. He danced, sang, performed a feat of magic and finished the encour with a backflip off the stage! What a guy. If anyone ever has the chance to see him, we highly recommend it.
On our way out of the building we noticed Jon signing cds near the doors. Luckily our friend Joyce had a camera. You know, a lot of people try to sneak a picture with Jon Schmidt while he autographs. It's not every day that he gets caught trying to sneak a picture with somebody else.

Raising Campus Awareness

On my way to class I saw a group of kids gathered in front of the AP Building. My insatiable curiosity brought me closer where I noticed a microphone, speakers, and a banner that said "Soap Box." Apparently the microphone was set up so that anyone could get on the "soap box" and say whatever they wanted. A girl recognized me and asked me to say something. I just couldn't let the opportunity pass. I grabbed the microphone and then started talking about the first thing that came to my mind: Dinosaurs. My speech went something like this:
"Dinosaurs are extinct, right? Wrong. Dinosaurs are well and alive but their existence is kept secret by our government who wants to keep us in ignorant submission so that they can keep their congressional funding for hoaxes like 'global warming.' Did you know that dinosaurs cause .013% of all fatal car accidents in the U.S. alone?
We CDRs, or Certified Dinosaur Wranglers (I know Wranglers doesn't start with an R. CDW already stands for Celtic Disk Wobblers, so we couldn't use it), are trying to raise awareness so that we can put a stop to dinosaur attacks on the general public. The other day I came across a wreck that had all the signs of a dinosaur attack: skid marks, broken glass, and twisted metal. I walked up to the Police officer in charge and told him, 'I know this looks like a typical wreck, but I know it was a dinosaur attack. I believe I have jurisdiction in this case.' I showed him my badge and he had me escorted off the scene. This is EXACTLY the behavior we CDRs are trying to get rid of. Everyone, please continue to raise Dinosaur Awareness so that we can protect our people!"
Special thanks to CDR Matt Loper who first brought the dinosaur threat to my attention.

I think the kids liked it.

We Know a Guy who knows a Guy

While we were in Flagstaff we had the pleasure of attending our home ward again. To keep with tradition, we went to Priests Quorum to see our friend and leader Brother Dillon. Apparently we aren't the coolest people who have visited him.

Looks Like Tanner's Going Fishing

On the way back from dinner tonight I recommended that we take the elevator instead of the stairs. I was singing and spinning my keys around my finger. Suddenly my keys flew off my finger and started sliding towards the open elevator. In the middle of saying "I hope those don't fall down the shaft" my keys slid through the crack in the door and down into the shaft.
My room mates, Joe and Ryan, were happy to help me out, providing me with yarn, a clothes hanger, and photo documentary of the event. After some quick preparations, including removing a magnet from the cabinet door beneath the sink, we set off to go fishing. At first it was hard because the magnet stuck to the shaft wall, but eventually I persevered and retrieved my lost keys. Hooray.

Helping Our Friend

Our friend Wendy fell asleep on our couch yesterday. We couldn't just leave her there all helpless and cold. So, we decided to cover her up. Has anyone seen the play version of Peter Pan? In the play, Peter and the Lost Boys sing a song while they build a house around Wendy. I couldn't resist singing:
"Let's be quiet as a mouse
And build a lovely little house
For Wendy
Oh for Wendy
She's come to stay"

We put all the community chairs around the couch, placed a mattress on top, and then draped blankets over the framework. To finish, we placed a sign that said "Do Not Disturb" on top.I think it was the heat inside the shelter that finally woke her up. Reports say that she awoke "confused, bamboozled, and bewildered."

Creative, or Just Plain Cheap?

Of all the expenses that college students have to pay, I think laundry outweighs them all. I just can't afford to do it anymore. So, after being ripped off by the broken clothes drier and then taking a look at my rapidly depleting treasury, I decided to take laundry into my own hands.... well, the drying portion of my laundry anyway(The chocolate river is no place to wash clothes, so I still have to pay to use our dorm's laundry facility). The result: an article of clothing hangs on every hangeable space on my side of room. I always wondered when that string would come in handy.

Resulting Story:
Clothes take a very long time to air dry so I have been very limited in my dress options. Today for instance, not having any socks, I wore some tan water sandals. Since I have no dry jeans, I wore blue basketball shorts. On top, I had a red shirt, and since it's cold outside (and inside) I had on my old faded flight jacket. The ensemble, I'm sure, is a hideous fashion No-No, besides the fact that shorts and sandals do little to keep me warm.
This evening we were walking with our friend Wendy in the chilly night air. Wendy, upon seeing me shiver with cold, said, "Well, what did you expect? You're wearing sandals!" I replied, "That's because I have no socks!" Suddenly Wendy burst out laughing. She realized that I was dressed this way because I had to. Apparently she thought my appearance was goofy because I had no fashion sense. It was really funny.

P.S. What's funnier is that I don't have any fashion sense. I would probably dress like this anyway, on a warmer day mind you.

Family Pictures

Considering that we won't be able to have a complete family portrait for another three years, my mom thought it was appropriate to get our family pictures taken while we were up for the weekend. Those who are familiar with the ritual of "Family Pictures" understand the massive struggle it is to get a whole family in matching clothes, in the car, and then to the set all in one piece. And that isn't even the hardest part. The major conflict is attempting to get ten people to smile at the exact same time. Needless to say, the photo shoot session ended in tears for a few of us.

Homecoming Surprise

We were excited to come back to school after our weekend in Flagstaff. Our sojourn at our home in the north lasted 3 days and we were a little worried about how our room mates were going to entertain themselves. Apparently, they had more fun than we anticipated. We entered our room only to see that all our furniture had been entirely rearranged to our absolute delight. Our joy was only matched by the joy that overcame Joe upon discovering that I got Dax's old cell phone.

Due for Haircuts

This weekend we're going back up to Flag to see Dax before he takes off to the MTC and then to Boston, Ma. Sure, seeing Dax will be nice and everything. After all, we won't see him for another 3 years (we leave in a year. Do the math). But what we're most excited for is........ Hair cuts! Our hairs haven't been cut since the day we moved here. Our shagginess demands that we get haircuts ASAP! Gotta keep the missionary look ;)


Note from the Editor:
Dear Readers,
It has come to my attention that some will read the post above and be exceedingly astonished that we would claim to be more excited for haircuts than to see our soon departing brother. Remember that the nature of this blog involves a little bit of humor. We aren't actually more excited for haircuts than Dax. A beard trim maybe, but certainly not haircuts.