Tuesday, May 7, 2013

This post was a Katie blog hack. But it was so good we kept it up

Note from the editor: Ethel Epstein is a native of New Jersey who started writing this advice column in 1973. Since then she has helped countless people with her quick wit, concrete principles, and no-nonsense approach. After several requests we have added her column to the blog. It helps if you read with a New Jersey accent.

Dear Ethel,
I’m dating a man I can’t trust. I know he cheats on me all the time, in fact I’m not sure this child I’m carrying is even his. What should I do? Should I stay with him for my baby’s sake?
Cheated on in Chicago

       Dear Cheated,
          I’ve said it once and I will say it again, you don’t need a man to complete you. If that man is cheating        on you then you don’t need him in your life, drop him before you have that little one dear. Your baby will  thank you for it, unless of course it is his daddy, in which case he might be very upset. Are you very certain he is cheating on you Hon?
           Maybe the two of you should talk things over and get to the bottom of all of this. It sounds like you need to get things figured out on your end too, you don't want to be known as the Frisky Freida of Chicago's Canasta Club. We have one of those at my Thursday Bingo nights, Oy what a hussy! Your baby doesn't need that. Remember, you are thinking for two now.
           I'm not judging, that's how I got on such good terms with Frank Sinatra, (that's a great story for another time) but I wouldn't really advise you to go down that path, Mia wasn't too keen on the whole idea. Come to think of it neither was my Charlie... there was a man that looked good in a uniform...very good... mmm takes me right back to '66 when he was drafted. I'm sorry, I'm getting a little verklempt... he never came back from Vietnam. Frank never came back to me either... not even after he and Mia called it splitsville two years after their sham of a marriage broke up. Let me compose myself....
       Hon, what you need to do is find out if this man is cheating on you. A good man is hard to find and even harder to keep. 


Ethel Epstein is a mother, cosmetician, fashionista, Christian, Jew, Bingo player, 2 time winner of the New Jersey State Lottery, and athlete (Gin Rummy). Questions to "Ask Ethel" may be posted in the comments section of this article.


  1. Dear Ethel,
    I have a friend who was asked to a dance by a fellow that is a bit, ummm, vertically challenged. My friend wanted to wear heels with her dress but, had she done so, would have towered over her date.
    Would that be a problem or was she right in choosing a cute pair of "flats" that allowed her to keep looking up at her man?
    The puzzled third wheel

    1. This response is from Tanner, not Ethel. Flats was the right way to go. Let the man feel like a man. Sorry Ethel couldn't respond. She's given me custody of her column while she serves time for.... well let's just say the law frowns upon incidents involving petting zoos and makeshift flamethrowers.