Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Signs that you are an adult

1) You tuck in your shirt. This comes from a gradual recognition that you probably won't end up in a pickup game of baseball or tag. It's more likely that you'll run into some professional acquaintance or have to go to the bank.

2) You listen to Talk Radio. You used to listen to Rush and now you listen to Rush Limbaugh. It's a sad trade.

3) You start sentences with "Remember when..." Nothing says "old" like reminiscing about the good old days when the internet was still in black and white and you could buy a car for a nickel.

4) You file taxes. Part of being an adult is being a slave to the man. You must make real money and then have it taken away from you.

5) You know what APR means. There are several codes that you must understand in order to be a real adult. APR is one of them. No, it does not mean "Average Parental Rating." I have a feeling it has to do with mortgage (whatever that means).

6) You read the newspaper, and not just the funnies. Part of being an adult is finding fulfillment in the unfulfilling filler.

7) You part your hair or have parted with your hair. 'Nuff said.

8) You care about politics. As if there is more to life than light-up shoes and candy. Hmf, as if....

9) You give directions using North, South, East, and West. This skill comes with an awareness of a world that exists beyond your street. Still, tucked away in the corner of your heart you know that NESW really is a reminder to Never Eat Slimy Worms.

10) You eat bran cereal. Might as well go chomp on some woodchips. Can't sugar binge anymore? Yeah, you're probably an adult.

11) You like sleeping but you never get to. This is probably the biggest irony of being an adult.

Your turn. Tell us how you know you're an adult.

1 comment:

  1. My kid sister accused me of this adulthood when I countered her offer of watching Scooby Doo with an altogether more grown up alternative, namely The Emperor's New Groove. We ended up watching The Quiet Man all the while lamenting the fact that we are not Irish (which led us to consider defecting) and discussing deep questions of a philosophical nature such as male and female relations in the domestic sphere, the power hungry impudence of tyrants, how pride leadeth a man (or woman) unto to destruction, and what one should really do when they unwittingly kill someone. It was in this quiet and oddly specific moment of contemplation that I realized I was an adult. Also when I took 144 words to answer that which could have been answered in 7 words. I hear that's a pretty telling sign of being an adult.