Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Bryan Fleming Deported

Famous Blog Producer Deported
Adam Goodman

PHOENIX, Az.- In a shocking turn of events our own Bryan Fleming was deported at 4 a.m. last Thursday morning.
      Fleming's arrest and subsequent deportation came as a great shock to friends and family. "He just said he was going back to Mexico. We had no idea that he was here illegally," said Chester Stallion, Fleming's longtime neighbor.
      Ever hiding his true ethnicity, Fleming kept the secret even from his closest friends.  "I knew he loved hot food and Spanish, but never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed that he was Mexican," said high school friend Hansel Mallow. "I mean, he was so tall and white. Latin people love to dance and that kid couldn't dance to save his life."
      As our dedicated readers know, Bryan Fleming has been the Creative Consultant for B&T's Excellent Adventure™since its inception in 2008. He has also served on executive boards for several major productions including: "The Arrrriba," a monthly newsletter from Brasil, "The Bobble-head Chronicles," a comic strip documenting the adventures of Mrs. Carlson's bobble-head dolls, and "The Tanner and Bryan Show," a sitcom scheduled to air some time in the next decade.
       Speculation about his deportation has spread like butter across BYU-I campus where Fleming previously studied. Some claim that he was framed, others that he was betrayed by jealous coworkers. The official court transcript, written by Merwyn "Skitch" Davis, identified his charges as: espionage on behalf of Mexican chimichanga cartels, hunting La Chupacabra on Federal land, and making  pinatas of political foes which he destroyed with "extreme prejudice" in direct defiance of the Mexican-American Treaty of 2008.
      Communication with Fleming has been sparse at best. In limited email exchanges with blog co-producer, Tanner M. Gilliland Esq., Fleming has stated that he is being harbored by a Mexican family in Puebla, Mexico where he also teaches English at an elementary school. Mexican Ambassador Henrique Hernandes, who was present at Fleming's hearing, said that after three months of volunteer work he may be be reconsidered for immigration, but only on a student visa.
      Our best wishes go out to Mr. Fleming as well as his friends and family, particularly to his roommate who is probably suffering most from this sudden separation.


  1. hahahahahaha oh tanner you never cease to amaze me :)

  2. Our baaaaaaabbbbbbyyyyyy!!!! Bring him home!!!!

  3. How do you come up with these things?! It just makes me laugh!! Go console yourself at the local Taco Bell, it will be alright. :)