You might be in Rexburg...

If you have ever described 30 degree weather as "balmy" or "nice out"...
If you've ever been fined for texting in a crosswalk, throwing a snowball, or jaywalking...
If your idea of a good time involves Karaoke Night at your school...
If you've ever worn a mustache to a restaurant to get a discount...
If you've ever gotten wet playing a game of Battleship...

If you've never paid more than $5 for a pizza...

If it's been over a year since you've worn shorts or flip flops...
If you can't take a test in shorts or skinny jeans...

If you refer to your school as "the Lord's University"....

If you've ever seen 7 wedding announcements in one week...
If you have ever felt the Spirit of Ricks...
If you start a discussion about evolution with a prayer...

If you've ever played ultimate frisbee in a snowstorm....
If you've never seen an alcoholic beverage within your city limits...
If you've ever been asked on a date to the gardens...
If you've ever said no to a date in the gardens because you "just aren't ready...."
If going to the mall means driving half an hour to a place called IF...
If you can't park at your friend's apartment without getting booted...
If you know from painful experience that "boots" have nothing to do with footwear
If you associate the names Hinckley, Benson, Snow, and Kimball with buildings...
If you hear bells every day but have never seen a bell tower...
If you have never actually driven through the crossroads...
If your friends are confused as to why you go to an eye center to hear religious devotionals....
If you wear a suit and tie every Tuesday...
If you've ever referred to your walk to your math class as "the trek"...
If you think a Buick is a building, not a car...
If you have ever been engaged after two dates...
If you wait to see movies til they come out in the "cheap theater"...
If you have weekly DTRs...
If you know what a DTR is...
If you can't afford to go to BYU Hawaii...
If BYU Provo denied your application....
....then you might be in Rexburg.

Who Needs Friends When You Have Siri?

Here is a review of Apple's new I Phone with quotes taken directly from the Apple website. (http://www.apple.com/iphone/features/siri.html)

"Talk to Siri as you would to a person... Siri does what you say, finds the information you need, then answers you. It’s like you’re having a conversation with your iPhone."

Imagine! A friend that is only there to make your life easier. It never disagrees with you. You can have a conversation without some of the inherent fears of offense, emotional involvement, or having it dominate the conversation. You can command:"Siri! have an intellectual conversation with me...and then tell me where I can get the cheapest tacos in town!" It's like a perfect room mate that never steals your milk.

"Siri not only understands what you say, it’s smart enough to know what you mean...." How many of your "real" friends could fit that description?

"It has so much to tell you. When there’s something you need to do, just ask Siri to help you do it... Siri is proactive, so it will question you until it finds what you’re looking for."

That's right. Siri is like a best friend/secretary/slave, that will obey your every command and make your life so much easier by eliminating all the undesirable tasks from your daily schedule. For example, Siri can schedule your appointments, send your texts, order your pizza, manage your finances, do your homework, discipline your children, break up with your girlfriend, and a myriad of other tasks. Who needs friends when you have Siri?

Wait.....I've seen something like this before in a science fiction movie. This is how it starts. We have friendly little robots who only exist to serve us and then....

There Were Bells On a Hill.....Or Were There?

It was a day like any other. I was walking from the library to the Romney building at BYU-I. As I walked I only half listened to the familiar sound of the campus bells playing hymns for all of Rexburg to hear. Then I stopped. It was 1:49 pm. I asked myself, "Self, why were the bells playing at 1:49?" As far as I knew bells usually ring to announce a new hour. So why did they sound then at such an odd time? Then as I thought to myself I realized that the bells were almost always playing at random times. Sometimes it seems like they just play all day. I decided to investigate further at the bell tower.

Before my investigation could begin I was struck with yet another epiphany. We don't have a bell tower! If we don't have a bell tower then where are these bell hymns coming from? I stopped a passerby who was passing by (as they tend to do) and asked where the bell sound was coming from. He informed me that there are speakers on one of the main buildings that play recordings of bells playing hymns.

I stood there stunned. Recordings? What?! This discovery has lead me on a journey of thought that would make Socrates himself quake in his boots. My pondering has led me to ask such questions as: "If bell towers usually correlate with time, and if our recordings play at random intervals, then why try to simulate a bell tower? If they just want us to hear instrumental music, then why bells? Why not play recordings of an instrument a little more impressive than bells, like bagpipes? If they want us to become more acquainted with the hymns then why not just play recordings of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Is this all just some disguised attempt to subliminally convince us that we are just as good as our sister school in Provo?"

If you know the answer to one or more of these questions, please let me know.......I am so confused.....