Thursday, July 5, 2012

Steak Perfume: A sarcastic commentary on immodesty

    Girl, if your best tactic for catching a man's attention is booty shorts and low cut shirts, then this product is for you.
    You, dear girl, have discovered the well-known fact that men are only a step above primates (the step up being that they can work a power drill...which I think an ape might be able to do with some training). Yes, men are just like the savage animals who, to wax scriptural, walk after the carnal lusts of the flesh. They care for nothing but sex, food, sports, and Harrison Ford movies.
   You, sweet sister, knowing this great truth have discovered that if you show off some skin, the men can't resist but flock to you like moths to a flame. Yet for some reason your attempts to find a decent man (which is probably impossible considering the aforementioned facts) are all in vain.

Don't discourage my dear. Help is here.

Rather than trying to win a man over with your charm, wit, and virtue (not to mention an over-exaggerated interest in Star Wars) just attack the man's primal instincts on another level: his sense of smell.

No man can resist the tempting scent of a juicy steak still smoking hot from the grill. If your personal bikini display on the apartment lawn is not enticing enough to the savage man, its probably because he can't smell you. Buy a bottle of Steak Perfume today and match a smell to your outfit. No man will be able to resist this blatant bludgeoning of the senses.


  1. Replies
    1. I always like to make people aware of the lost pages of the for the Strength of Youth pamphlet that says: it's OK to be immodest if you have a nice body, are swimming, it's is Halloween, or any combination of the above. ( for Canadians and other people who don't understand sarcasm ignore my above comment.)