Tuesday, November 25, 2008

We're Not Doctors But...

We have a peculiar knack for accurate diagnoses. After exhaustive testing, keen observation, and countless hours of recording and analyzing data, we have come to the expert conclusion that there is an extreme case of SSFSS (Severe Stress From School Syndrome), commonly known as The Jenkins, rampant on campus. Our colleagues inform us that this syndrome is not confined to this campus alone, but is prevalent in many institutions of education around the world. Here is an excerpt from our scientific journal:
Monday, November 24
Test subject is rolling around the room. She(or he. We don't disclose the identity of our test subjects without written consent) is perpetually switching from an exceedingly giddy mood into a lugubrious stupor. The subject is always on the brink of tears, not particularly out of sorrow, but from the overwhelming feeling of inability to meet the demands of a rigorous schedule. Subject is very jumpy and scares very easily. Subject is aware of the need to do homework. Subject apparently finds doing homework impossible. Subject is overwhelmed by a clicking noise coming from subject's computer. Subject is getting frantic because too many people are trying to talk. End Journal.

Chances are that until this semester ends, you may see someone you love with The Jenkins. You can recognize the Jenkins by these common symptoms:

-severe lack of sleep
-extreme elation followed by extreme sadness
-feeling overwhelmed
-unfocusing or bloodshot eyes
-spontaneous spewing of memorized information
-fingernail sensitivity
-fear of getting called the wrong name
-Reading without comprehension
-Inability to do mathematical equations


  1. Doctor, can you prescribe me something?

  2. that sounds horrible! i hope that no one i know ever gets that.

  3. p.s. Tanner, you logged me back into that thing that i don't know what it is and now it is always logged on and i don't know how to make it stop!

  4. The "subject" was Wendy wasn't it? Don't worry, I'll keep my eyes peeled for other such victims of The Jenkins. Hey I know a guy named Jenkin! Weird...

  5. dude i love how we aren't talking about wendy....but we are so talking about wendy. i have got a slight case of the jenkins (i believe it is from sitting so near wendy at devotional on the day her Jenkins was at its apex). Keep hope alive boys.

  6. oh by the bye that 'doctored' (no pun intended) photo of you two on this post is the best yet!

  7. ummm... I HAVE THE JENKINS!!!! help me please. i cry over everything. i never sleep. i can't do any math homework and eventhough i dropped my music theroy class 2 months ago i started reicting the major triad, freaked myself out and started crying... again. Doctors, what can i do to make this stop?

    ps. i can't eeven spell anymore

  8. hahaha that is the most awesome picture. I love how Bryan is shorter. lol. cute. I miss you guys.Tanner you are so funny. I changed my blog a little if you want to check it out. love ya! <3 bye!


  9. Tanner, remember when you had the jenkins? i do.

  10. Hi Boys. You both look great in lab coats! Tanner, I think you look like my brother Brian!

  11. okay, so you described bryan perfectly. But what's the disease? Isn't that just how he acts?

  12. Cliff, it's good to see you on here! It's not only Bryan. Thousands, yea, even millions, have been diagnosed.

    For those of you who are curious. There is no definite cure for The Jenkins. Usually you just have to let it pass like a kidney stone.

  13. I really want to share this with my college colleagues via Facebook.