B and T's Bogus Journey

Who Needs Friends When You Have Siri?

2012-02-10T10:48:00.003-07:00

Here is a review of Apple's new I Phone with quotes taken directly from the Apple website. (http://www.apple.com/iphone/features/siri.html)

"Talk to Siri as you would to a person... Siri does what you say, finds the information you need, then answers you. It’s like you’re having a conversation with your iPhone."

Imagine! A friend that is only there to make your life easier. It never disagrees with you. You can have a conversation without some of the inherent fears of offense, emotional involvement, or having it dominate the conversation. You can command:"Siri! have an intellectual conversation with me...and then tell me where I can get the cheapest tacos in town!" It's like a perfect room mate that never steals your milk.

"Siri not only understands what you say, it’s smart enough to know what you mean...." How many of your "real" friends could fit that description?

"It has so much to tell you. When there’s something you need to do, just ask Siri to help you do it... Siri is proactive, so it will question you until it finds what you’re looking for."

That's right. Siri is like a best friend/secretary/slave, that will obey your every command and make your life so much easier by eliminating all the undesirable tasks from your daily schedule. For example, Siri can schedule your appointments, send your texts, order your pizza, manage your finances, do your homework, discipline your children, break up with your girlfriend, and a myriad of other tasks. Who needs friends when you have Siri?

Wait.....I've seen something like this before in a science fiction movie. This is how it starts. We have friendly little robots who only exist to serve us and then....

There Were Bells On a Hill.....Or Were There?

2012-02-02T17:49:00.002-07:00

It was a day like any other. I was walking from the library to the Romney building at BYU-I. As I walked I only half listened to the familiar sound of the campus bells playing hymns for all of Rexburg to hear. Then I stopped. It was 1:49 pm. I asked myself, "Self, why were the bells playing at 1:49?" As far as I knew bells usually ring to announce a new hour. So why did they sound then at such an odd time? Then as I thought to myself I realized that the bells were almost always playing at random times. Sometimes it seems like they just play all day. I decided to investigate further at the bell tower.

Before my investigation could begin I was struck with yet another epiphany. We don't have a bell tower! If we don't have a bell tower then where are these bell hymns coming from? I stopped a passerby who was passing by (as they tend to do) and asked where the bell sound was coming from. He informed me that there are speakers on one of the main buildings that play recordings of bells playing hymns.

I stood there stunned. Recordings? What?! This discovery has lead me on a journey of thought that would make Socrates himself quake in his boots. My pondering has led me to ask such questions as: "If bell towers usually correlate with time, and if our recordings play at random intervals, then why try to simulate a bell tower? If they just want us to hear instrumental music, then why bells? Why not play recordings of an instrument a little more impressive than bells, like bagpipes? If they want us to become more acquainted with the hymns then why not just play recordings of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir? Is this all just some disguised attempt to subliminally convince us that we are just as good as our sister school in Provo?"

If you know the answer to one or more of these questions, please let me know.......I am so confused.....

BYU-I Testing Center

2012-01-23T12:46:00.003-07:00

Following the recent drama surrounding the BYU-I testing center dress standards where a student was denied entrance for wearing "skinny jeans", the university again takes the national spotlight after reportedly refusing entrance to an ewok. The testing center spokesman denied that the ewok was barred from entrance on account of being an ewok and affirmed that the decision was made because the creature was not currently wearing pants. The only statement released to the press by the ewok was, "Yub nub." Certainly there will be more news to follow.

Family Christmas Dance

2011-12-24T22:45:00.002-07:00

Here is theChristmas Eve dance we choreographed for the opening ceremonies of the first annual Gilliland Family Ugly Sweater Contest.

Ballad of the Tele-Surveyer

2011-12-13T16:43:00.003-07:00

As many of you know, I, Tanner Michael Gilliland Esq., currently work at a call center doing telephone surveys. Much of my time is spent simply waiting for people to answer the phone. Ergo, I have lots of time to get the creative juices flowing. The words of this parody came to me as I labored last saturday in the call center. I'm going to give you guys a heads up. There's a line that says "And now my PR is a crying shame." PR is Productivity Rate which is basically how many surveys you do per hour. Since you get paid better if you do more surveys per hour, you learn to dislike when people take forever to do surveys. I've heard that if you have to explain a joke then it isn't funny. If that is true, then I have successfully un-funnied that joke.

On a scale of one to ten how did you like this post?
What changes would you recommend?
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Feel free to answer these questions and share your opinions by clicking the comment button on this post.

Why We Haven't Blogged: Yoko Oh No!

2011-11-15T15:39:00.005-07:00

Please forgive the serious lack of recent posts. Its just that something has come up that has taken a great amount of time and energy from our creative endeavors. The Beatles once faced a similar situation with the addition of John Lennon's love, Yoko Ono. Wanting to spend every waking minute with John Lennon, she soon became an annoyance and then the frustration that led to the eventual downfall of the most famous rock group of all time. So, if you are disappointed in our lack of posts, blame Bryan's girlfriend.
Note from the Editor: This blog is intended to be humorous in nature. Negative remarks about Bryan's girlfriend are not to be taken seriously. She is a wonderful human being and we are thrilled to see them together. Everyone needs their own Yoko Ono.

"Barack" wants Change!

2011-10-04T14:11:00.004-07:00

Our roommate Michael, commonly referred to as "Barack," wants change, and he wants it now. Its not the economical mess, or the war, or health care, or foreign relations that has him worried. It's hairstyles. Michael thinks that two eligible bachelors need two stylish cuts. In a recent press conference "Barack" told reporters that Tanner's neatly parted hair "should only be worn by 50 year old men" and that Bryan's frontward spike "resembles the Statue of Liberty." These and other statements have caused no small stir among Conservatives and Liberals alike.
Republican Presidential Candidate, Mitt Romney, a long-time supporter of parted hair, countered Barack with this statement: "People from both political parties have long recognized that [hair] without [a part] creates negative incentives that lead to permanent poverty. It robs people of self-esteem."
The heated debate continues, but only one side will win. So, we ask the American people, is it time for change?

Don't Shingle Me Out

2011-09-26T13:44:00.006-07:00

This is a post that pleads for equal rights for those who have been affected in any way shape or form by the dreaded illness, The Shingles. Don't shingle these people out! Don't give them one shingle disgusted look. Don't make one shingle comment about the need for a Shingles Ward. These people have been hurt enough! They don't need one shingle thing to make them hurt more than they already do.

The is the one shingle photo that our editor allowed us to take of him during his bout with Shingles. His girlfriend left him after this ordeal. He is currently shingle.

Those who comment on this post will be entered into a drawing to receive a shingle tee shirt:

Please, be considerate of those who suffer through the shingles.

The Bull Elk Phenomenon

2011-09-20T20:40:00.007-07:00

As promised this blog will help people understand college life a little better. What we would like to talk about now is what we refer to as the Bull Elk Phenomenon. Males of every species have many things in common. But the relationship between the bull elk and the Man have a fascinating similarity. Wikipedia teaches us this about bull elk:
"Male elk have large antlers which are shed each year. Males also engage in ritualized mating behaviors during the rut, including posturing, antler wrestling (sparring), and bugling, a loud series of vocalizations which establishes dominance over other males and attracts females."
Post mission life is very similar. Returned missionaries are all thinking about one thing: marriage. And they know that all the other RMs are thinking about the same thing. So they begin to establish dominance, and this is what we call the Bull Elk Phenomenon.
It starts with the donning of duds that are a little too small in order to maintain perfect muscle exposure and hairdos resembling that of Justin Beiber (though they all claim that he is far below them). To elk these are their seasonally changing antlers.
Next comes bugling. Loud, obnoxious jabber that is some how supposed to woo a woman into complete and utter attraction. This can also be used toward other inferior males to... well to show them that they really are inferior. Posturing occurs when a dominant male places himself in a situation where he can be seen in all his masculine glory, perhaps on top of his new mustang, or playing guitar under a nice shady tree, or scoring a touchdown right as the female passes by, or perhaps beating a smaller inferior elk in a sparring match. It is important to note that any and all opposition to these bull elk behaviors will result in antler sparring which is by no means fun for the losing party (which are usually the type of elk who weigh a meager buck twenty-five or have recently come down with the Shingles).
A university campus is a large forest just full of bull elk. When encountering a bull elk remember that he, like most animals, is actually more scared of you than you are of him. His efforts for dominance should be considered merely a result of natural instinct. in most cases its better just to ignore them.

Welcome to Room 101

2011-09-20T20:31:00.002-07:00

To everyone who has aksed the question, "Where are Tanner and Bryan?" the answer comes: BYU-Idaho. The next sequence of blog posts will be brought to you from apartment # 101 where you will get the real scoop on college life.

Mission Addresses

2009-08-05T17:24:00.004-07:00

If you would like to write Elder Fleming or Elder Gilliland, their addresses are listed here.

Elder Fleming

MTC Address:

Elder Bryan William Fleming
Missouri Independence Mission
Provo Missionary Training Center
2005 N 900 E
Provo, UT 84604

Mission Address

Elder Bryan William Fleming
Missouri Independence Mission
517 W Walnut st
Independence, MO 64050-3632
Provo, UT 84604

Elder Gilliland

MTC Address:

Elder Tanner Michael Gilliland
Brazil Joao Pessoa Mission
Brazil Missionary Training Center
Rua Padre Antonio D'Angelo 121
Casa Verde
02516-040 Sao Paulo SP
Brazil

Mission Address

Elder Tanner Michael Gilliland
Joao Pessoa Mission
R. Deputado Jose Mariz, 515
Tambauzinho
Joao Pessoa-PB, 58042-020
BRAZIL

I Think We Got a Job

2009-07-10T19:23:00.003-07:00

We are unemployed. That's all there is to it. We aren't earning income and we aren't making a living. Businesses just wouldn't hire two guys who were leaving in a couple months. I can't blame them.
For weeks we've been wondering how we could earn some cash. We've done a few odd jobs here and there, but still no substantial income. Then, the answer came. You see, we happen to know two small business tycoons who have a total monopoly on the neighborhood. What do they do you might ask? They are in the golf and beverage industries.
That's right, golf and beverage. Who are the tycoons? None other than our young siblings, Mason and Tess. Mason fishes golf balls out of the pond and sells them to golfers while Tess sells lemonade. Together they can pull in a hundred bucks a day! That's more than our combined tips at the golf course.
So how do we earn money this summer? We go to work for Mason and Tess.

Bryan's Song

2009-06-30T18:51:00.005-07:00

After Bryan left, I felt a tribute video was in order.
No he didn't leave on his mission. He went to California.

Wookie Errors and Jumanji

2009-06-23T15:16:00.006-07:00

Have you ever made a mistake, only to hear coming from an onlooker's mouth the words, "Rookie error?" Now imagine if you made a mistake a hundred times worse? What would the onlooker say then? Chances are they would say, "Wookie Error!"
Wookie errors take their name from the hairy creatures from star wars that are known for their incredible strength and touchy temperament. A wookie error is like a rookie error, but worse; it usually involves accidentally hurting someone or something. For example: You go to put your arm around someone and you jab their eye with your elbow. Wookie Error!
Or how about the time the Stake President, after renewing someone's recommend, told them to go rip up the old one into 50 pieces and the person obediently did, only to find out they had shredded their son's recommend? Wookie error!
We all make wookie errors now and then. We accidentally knock down displays at the grocery store. We bash in our friend's car door while backing out the van. We pull out favorite plants thinking they are weeds. Wookie errors happen. Just try not to let them happen all the time.
Feel free to share a wookie error from your life.

In other news, we have discovered the origin of the swine flu. We were watching Jumanji and we observed that at the end of the movie two girls found the game. They must have opened it and started to play. Herein lies the explanation of the swine flu. One of the girls must have rolled the dice and read this message:

"Looks like you've rolled
the number two.
Have lots of fun
With the swine flu."

The swine flu will go away when those two girls finish playing the game... which we hope happens soon. I mean, according to the movie, they've been playing since the nineties. Hurry up already

Things You Will Never Hear Us Say

2009-05-27T22:10:00.003-07:00

So we saw a funny list online of things that you'd never hear a redneck say and it got us thinking. We decided to make a list of things you would never hear us say. Feel free to add your own.

1. I'm too full for dessert
2. Do these match?
3. Let's spend the day shopping
4. What a great Jonas Brothers concert
5. Jimmy Stewart movies are lame
6. You're right, canes are out of style
7. This sweater should've been destroyed in the 90's
8. Jeans need to be washed every day
9. I've had too many tacos this week
10 Of course Hayden Christensen was the best Star Wars actor
11. I just ran a marathon
12. 7th Heaven was better than Full House
13. Where can I find the latest Hannah Montana cd?
14. I'm too old for Disney movies
15. Indiana Jones isn't that cool
16. Stop being so happy
17. Musicals are not really my thing
18. I'm sick of board games
19. Make sure you knock before coming in
20. We should wait until we're invited
21. Baked goods are bad for you
22. Oh look, Sagittarius is out.
23. Don't pick that! It's a flower not a weed! (Sorry again Sister Henderson)
24. Let's see Space Chimps again
25. Free food doesn't taste as good
26. So our parents were reading our blog...
27. Add me as a friend on Facebook
28. Hotmail is better than Gmail
39. I'm not really interested in other cultures
30. Don't leave comments on our blog

Bryan's Mission Call

2009-05-23T15:38:00.003-07:00

D&C 57
1 Hearken, O ye elders of my church, saith the Lord your God, who have assembled yourselves together, according to my commandments, in this land, which is the land of Missouri, which is the land which I have appointed and consecrated for of the saints.

2 Wherefore, this is the land of promise, and the place for the city of Zion.

3 And thus saith the Lord your God, if you will receive wisdom here is wisdom. Behold, the place which is now called Independence is the center place; and a spot for the temple is lying westward, upon a lot which is not far from the courthouse.

Yep, Bryan is going to Independence Missouri.

Adam-Ondhi Ahman

What Makes a Man a Man?

2009-05-14T18:10:00.005-07:00

Yesterday we were asked to transport and hang drywall at a construction site. We quickly realized that we knew nothing about building and fixing things (You have to know those things to be a true man right?). It didn't help that we were working next to Perkins, the manliest man of all (no offense to Harrison Ford). He is a straight up beard-sporting, wood-chopping, pancake-devouring, cabin-building, 6' 6'' lumberjack. It was a humbling experience that reminded us of how uncool we sometimes are. We are the kind of guys that they tell to practice nailing nails into a 2x4 instead of actually working. A quick antidote for pride is remembering that you couldn't even drill a screw into a wall. Yeah...

Come to think of it we are uncool in a lot of things.

Oh well. You can't win 'em all.

It's Back!

2009-05-05T08:59:00.004-07:00

Alert Alert! There is a spreading epidemic more dangerous and more contagious than swine flu! It's called "The Jenkins" and it is back in full fury on college campuses around the globe.

We first became aware of the Jenkins last semester around finals time. Once finals were over, students began building up immunities to the Jenkins, but now that the school year is almost over, the Jenkins has come back with extreme vengeance!

Our scientific research and treatment team has already diagnosed over 173 cases. Only 30 of those were diagnosed quickly enough to receive prescribed treatment. It is important that you are aware of the Jenkins, both for your sake and for your loved ones. Remember, there are several symptoms of the Jenkins. It is important to watch for these symptoms so you can receive or recommend help:

-Severe Anxiety
-Constantly being on the brink of tears
-Random blurting out of memorized information
-Inability to do simple mathematical equations
-Pacing in circles
-Incessant muttering and mumbling
-Using teachers' names like swear words
-Inexplicable fear of every-day tasks
-Denial
-Loud outbursts of phrases like: "Don't touch my homework!", "When you do math you have to talk to yourself!", "I'm not on the Jenkins!" "I stared at my calculator til my eyes had a seizure." "I've been in the library for fourteen straight hours and I'm still going to fail!!!", "I have to... gum.. ghojackontipskqueik."

If you have the Jenkins it is vital that you stay calm. Don't try to focus on too many things at once. Only worry about one thing at a time. Stay positive. You can succeed.

If you have any further questions contact us at the GilliFlem Student Practice located in E 3D.

WARNING: Do not startle any Samoans who you suspect might have the Jenkins!

P.S. Happy Cinco De Mayo. The cafeteria celebrated by putting a picture of Italian folk dancers on the milk dispenser

I Hope They Call Me on a Mission

2009-04-18T18:09:00.004-07:00

Even though I haven't grown a foot or two.

I am going to the Brazil Joao Pessoa mission (Same mission as Chris Clark!). I report to the Brazil Missionary Training Center on August 12.

First Time for Everything

2009-04-02T20:11:00.007-07:00

Today I conquered a fear; I gave blood. It wasn't as bad as I expected. Getting stuck in the finger with that box cutter was probably the worst part.

The Best Deal

2009-03-20T11:16:00.004-07:00

Can you believe that you can get a double flavored snow cone only 50 cents (75 cents if you want cream)?! We challenge anyone to find a better deal!

So a couple weekends ago Sterling Smith visited paid us a visit and we felt we must initiate him into the "I Love Fifty Cent Snow Cones Club."

We figured if we told people about the greatest deal in the world, or maybe just this side of the Mississippi, then more people would want to visit us.

Why We Build Temples

2009-03-13T10:15:00.004-07:00

Here is a video the Church posted for this week's "Mormon Message." It is in response to an upcoming episode of HBO's Big Love that is said to depict temple ceremonies.

type in this address to see the Church's official statement about the episode:
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-publicity-dilemma

An Apology to Our Readers

2009-03-09T12:04:00.005-07:00

I sincerely ask for forgiveness from all those whom I have deceived over the years. I would not have done so if I had known the truth myself. Last night I was given a piece of information that changed my very identity. Since then I have been re-evaluating my life. What is this piece of information you ask? Here it is: The Gillilands are NOT Irish; They are Scottish. I am Scottish! All my life I have told people I was Irish. I have stood proudly, wearing green and eating clover... well, maybe not the clover part. But I have been proud of my heritage. Though, I admit there was always something strange about it. For some unexplainable reason I loved bagpipe music, I loved to watch caber tossing, Sean Connery was my favorite actor, I had an uncanny dislike for the British... okay that part may not be true either. Still, I knew I had Scottish tendencies, but I was too ashamed to admit it, afraid that I would disgrace my Irish heritage. Now it all makes sense. I am Scottish. I am Scottish!

P.S. Last night Bryan found out that he is African.

Happy St. Patrick's Day.... not!

2009-02-17T13:13:00.003-07:00

This morning I was able to eat breakfast in the cafeteria, an activity in which I do not normally participate due to the limit on my meal plan. Apart from the pleasantry of being able to eat breakfast, I thought the day was going to be as normal as any other. You can imagine my surprise when upon walking into "The Eat Place" I realized it was decked out in full blown St. Patty's day celebration. Pictures of Leprechauns adorned the front desk and green banners that read "Happy St. Patrick's Day," were strung all over the walls.
"How come I didn't know it was St. Patrick's Day?!" I asked my self in confusion. I quickly raced back to my room to get my green tie on so as to not get pinched by those Irish enthusiasts. After making it into my room unpinched I asked Bryan if he knew it was St. Patrick's Day.
Turns out that I'm the only person who didn't know that St. Patrick's Day is in March. Why did the cafeteria have to confuse me like that?

PS Contrary to popular believe, we do love hearing from people

Algebra Angst

2009-02-07T16:45:00.004-07:00

They say math is easy because there are set rules and only one answer for every equation (turns out that's not true.) They say that math has an order and that once you understand the concept, you can work out any problem. I'd rather do art, and here's why:

College Algebra Notes February 2, 2009

"There are infinite counting numbers and infinity +1 whole numbers (I thought those were the same...). If there are infinity +1 whole numbers then there are infinity x2 integers. Between each integer is an infinite number of rational numbers, and an infinitely greater number of irrational numbers. For every real number, there is an infinite amount of imaginary numbers, though they don't actually exist."

And they say math is easy to wrap your head around.

How Many Ninjas Can You See?

2009-01-16T17:08:00.005-07:00

EXACTLY!
Last night our newly created ninja clan went a-ninja-ing. Golden Blade (Tanner), Windsong (Race Davis), and Night Hawk (Bryce Bigham), the perfect ninja trio, frightened unsuspecting girls in the Goodman apartments. With night as their only cover, and the mind as their greatest weapon, the ninjas stealthily carried out their mission of wreaking ninjatical havoc.
Wearing a ninja outfit really does give you some amazing abilities. Bryce, for instance, can disappear in a flash and we won't find him for 10 minutes. Race, well, I bet no other human being can climb a pecan tree so fast. Me, I feel like I can jump/ cartwheel over anything.

I might grow out of doing this some day.

Alas, our ninja clan has no name. So please, tell us a good ninja name and we'll enter you in a drawing to receive 50.... high fives. Hurry, this offer is only good while supplies last.

HIYA!

Shoveling for Sweaters

2009-01-10T14:12:00.003-07:00

Over the holiday break we were blessed with an abundance of the magical frozen white substance we like to call snow. How beautiful the sight of freshly fallen snow! The flip side to the splendor of the blanco blanket is having to shovel it off the driveway, and since we live in a quiet neighborhood full of retirees, there was much shoveling to be had.
On one sunny afternoon following some heavy snowfall, we were visited by our college friends Caitlyn and Sharla, and Caitlyn's two sisters. Bryan was shoveling the driveway of an old European lady down the street and in order to progress to the adventures of the evening we found it expedient to assist him in his shoveling effort.
In return for clearing her driveway, the lady, Alexandra (or Mrs. Doubtfire as we call her), gave each of us a sweater from 1980. "Don't worry," she said. "Fashions come back every 20 years." Unfortunately,it has been 9 years since the 20 year mark so now we have to wait until 2020 for our sweaters to come back in style. I don't know though, I think turtle necks are always the way to go!
I don't know if it's possible, but for some reason I got the idea that some people were a little embarrassed to be seen in their antique apparel.

Brent on Politics

2008-12-15T12:55:00.003-07:00

Being home has provided us with a very unique opportunity to hear the thoughts of many people on the recent political goings on. One such person is the infamous political commentator, Brent Gilliland. Barely five years old, Mr. Gilliland has made a name for himself in the political world with his catch phrase "I'm not listening!"
Below is an interview with Mr. Brent Gilliland on the politicians, President Elect Barack Obama, and Senator John McCain. Please note that the views expressed in this interview are NOT necessarily the views of Bryan, Tanner, Barack Obama, John McCain, Brent's parents, blogspot, OPEC, the internet, the Whig Party, Walmart, or Taco Bell.

TB (Tanner and Bryan) : Brent, will you tell us about Obama?
BG (Brent Gilliland): Obama makes gas cost a lot.
TB: IN your opinion, what does Obama want to do?
BG: He wants to take over the whole city.
TB: The whole city?
BG: He wants to take over the whole city. And he just wants take over every house. And he is building mouses to get inside the house and light it on fire.
BG: Thank you Brent. I think we should move on. Tell us about John McCain.
BG: McCain just wants to find Obama. He doesn't like him. He just wants to put him in jail.
TB: Thank you Brent, I think we're out of time.

That Brent is the most intense 5-year old we've ever met. Other quotes from him include:
"[My sister] Tess is only 7 years old. My whole family thinks she's 8, but she's not"

"What's 9 plus 2?... 92!" and finally,

"They are not called Fritos! They are called Mac-neetos!"

Song of the Appendix

2008-12-11T11:30:00.003-07:00

I sit here now, I can not walk
Yet about my story I must talk
It started some time Friday night
When my stomach hurt, 'twas no delight
The whole next day I lied in bed
"There is no peace in my gut" I said
Round six o'clock I think it was
I made my way through the city buzz
And stopped inside the emergency room
A solemn place of constant gloom
The doctor came and looked at me
Then placed his hands on my tummy
He smiled and said "It's sure enough"
I nodded back and acted tough
Appendicitis was the causation
The surgery room my destination
With an IV in for rehydration
And a gurney for my transportation
They prepped me for the operation
That would remove the inflammation
What happened next is hard to tell
I woke up feeling pretty swell
And since then I have recovered
No more problems were discovered
They sent me home, that's where I am
Instead of taking my exams

We're Not Doctors But...

2008-11-25T17:19:00.002-07:00

We have a peculiar knack for accurate diagnoses. After exhaustive testing, keen observation, and countless hours of recording and analyzing data, we have come to the expert conclusion that there is an extreme case of SSFSS (Severe Stress From School Syndrome), commonly known as The Jenkins, rampant on campus. Our colleagues inform us that this syndrome is not confined to this campus alone, but is prevalent in many institutions of education around the world. Here is an excerpt from our scientific journal:
Monday, November 24
Test subject is rolling around the room. She(or he. We don't disclose the identity of our test subjects without written consent) is perpetually switching from an exceedingly giddy mood into a lugubrious stupor. The subject is always on the brink of tears, not particularly out of sorrow, but from the overwhelming feeling of inability to meet the demands of a rigorous schedule. Subject is very jumpy and scares very easily. Subject is aware of the need to do homework. Subject apparently finds doing homework impossible. Subject is overwhelmed by a clicking noise coming from subject's computer. Subject is getting frantic because too many people are trying to talk. End Journal.

Chances are that until this semester ends, you may see someone you love with The Jenkins. You can recognize the Jenkins by these common symptoms:

-restlessness
-severe lack of sleep
-overemotional
-extreme elation followed by extreme sadness
-feeling overwhelmed
-unfocusing or bloodshot eyes
-spontaneous spewing of memorized information
-fingernail sensitivity
-fear of getting called the wrong name
-Reading without comprehension
-Inability to do mathematical equations

One of Your Favorite Hymns

2008-11-16T18:08:00.003-07:00

Today in Sacrament Meeting instead of talks, we had sort of a musical testimony meeting. Anyone could get up and talk about a favorite hymn and then the congregation would sing a verse or two from the chosen song. The meeting was very enjoyable and we thought how much we'd like to hear more about people's favorite hymns. We soon realized that our blog would be a perfect way for that to happen. So, here it is. Please share with us your one of your favorite hymns. If it's not too personal, you could also share the reason why it is one of your favorites (We say "one of" because we're sure that everyone has many favorites).

I'll start off. One of my favorite hymns is All Creatures of Our God and King. On days when I am filled with the Spirit the whole world seems to testify of God and His love for me and I feel like singing "Allelujiah" with the rest of creation. It is a triumphant song of praise.

It's not BYU, but...

2008-11-10T11:35:00.002-07:00

We still get some amazing speakers here at EA. Craig C. Christensen of the First Quorum of the Seventy (He gave a talk in General Conference last April called A Book With a Promise) with his wife, as well as the Tucson Mission President and his wife, addressed the Gila Valley young single adults in a fireside last night.
Elder Christensen spoke about the importance of having the Spirit and being able to discern the messages we are given. Why does the Spirit have so many names? Because it has so many functions.
President Walker talked about passing The Test. It's not about lessons and it's not about meetings. It's about living the Gospel of Jesus Christ every day. What is good knowing about Christ if we don't know Christ?

I hope everyone in Arizona enjoyed last week's Stake Conference Broadcast. It made me grateful to live in THE Valley. Life is good!

We also visited with another noteworthy person yesterday. His name is Tom Rose and he is over a hundred years old. He is a billionaire who says he's going to die broke because he's giving it all to charity. He's told me twice that I should go to Hollywood and become and actor. I don't know. What do you think Mom and Dad? Should I quit college to make movies? :)
Here's an article about our friend Tom: http://www.eacourier.com/articles/2008/08/28/lifestyle/doc48b499e489fc8350853871.txt

Tanner's Poem

2008-10-29T22:15:00.002-07:00

My Friend Procrastination

What sayest Thou is man's best friend?
If thou thinketh it the dog,
Thou hast better guess again
For of truth, says I
His greatest friend must be
The one that ever beckoneth
to man, both me and thee
It's name is Procrastinate
And a handy friend it be
Whilst burdened by my labors
It always setteth free
To me it speaketh good things
"Thou hast more time indeed"
And with my chores forgotten
I draw or sleep or read.
Yet always it becometh
That my time is somehow spent
And regretteth I that costly gift
That my friend so kindly lent

Men such as I spend their days
To entertain such friends as he
Blinded to that the fact that now
He hath become their enemy
They putteth off their work
to sleep and dance and play
Saying "I will save the work
for a far-off future day"
Yet much sooner than expected
The day at last will come
The bell will ring the fat lady sing
and their toes will all feel numb
Surely one amongst them
will with emotion say
"I had not time to do the work,
Please grant another day."

On and on the story goes
of men who procrastinate
Who setteth aside their labor
for chance to recreate
Their fields are never plowed
Their houses never cleaned
Their knowledge never furthered
Their vineyards never gleaned
Their dreams never realized
Their songs are never sung
Never are their fortunes found
Their races never won
Their repentance is delayed
Their good name is diminished
They leave this world without their mark
Their poems are never

A Fan Meets Tanner and Bryan

2008-10-28T21:55:00.005-07:00

Tonight we got see Jon Schmidt, live in concert. Even our highest expectations were surpassed. Not only was he an amazing pianist with an incredible ability to improvise, he was also a quality entertainer. We thought we had seen the extent of his antics when he played a song whilst laying on his back with his arms crossed. However he surprised us by playing songs with everything from his head to his elbows to his feet. He danced, sang, performed a feat of magic and finished the encour with a backflip off the stage! What a guy. If anyone ever has the chance to see him, we highly recommend it.
On our way out of the building we noticed Jon signing cds near the doors. Luckily our friend Joyce had a camera. You know, a lot of people try to sneak a picture with Jon Schmidt while he autographs. It's not every day that he gets caught trying to sneak a picture with somebody else.

Raising Campus Awareness

2008-10-27T21:29:00.002-07:00

On my way to class I saw a group of kids gathered in front of the AP Building. My insatiable curiosity brought me closer where I noticed a microphone, speakers, and a banner that said "Soap Box." Apparently the microphone was set up so that anyone could get on the "soap box" and say whatever they wanted. A girl recognized me and asked me to say something. I just couldn't let the opportunity pass. I grabbed the microphone and then started talking about the first thing that came to my mind: Dinosaurs. My speech went something like this:
"Dinosaurs are extinct, right? Wrong. Dinosaurs are well and alive but their existence is kept secret by our government who wants to keep us in ignorant submission so that they can keep their congressional funding for hoaxes like 'global warming.' Did you know that dinosaurs cause .013% of all fatal car accidents in the U.S. alone?
We CDRs, or Certified Dinosaur Wranglers (I know Wranglers doesn't start with an R. CDW already stands for Celtic Disk Wobblers, so we couldn't use it), are trying to raise awareness so that we can put a stop to dinosaur attacks on the general public. The other day I came across a wreck that had all the signs of a dinosaur attack: skid marks, broken glass, and twisted metal. I walked up to the Police officer in charge and told him, 'I know this looks like a typical wreck, but I know it was a dinosaur attack. I believe I have jurisdiction in this case.' I showed him my badge and he had me escorted off the scene. This is EXACTLY the behavior we CDRs are trying to get rid of. Everyone, please continue to raise Dinosaur Awareness so that we can protect our people!"
Special thanks to CDR Matt Loper who first brought the dinosaur threat to my attention.

I think the kids liked it.

We Know a Guy who knows a Guy

2008-10-22T14:27:00.002-07:00

While we were in Flagstaff we had the pleasure of attending our home ward again. To keep with tradition, we went to Priests Quorum to see our friend and leader Brother Dillon. Apparently we aren't the coolest people who have visited him.

Looks Like Tanner's Going Fishing

2008-10-21T18:41:00.004-07:00

On the way back from dinner tonight I recommended that we take the elevator instead of the stairs. I was singing and spinning my keys around my finger. Suddenly my keys flew off my finger and started sliding towards the open elevator. In the middle of saying "I hope those don't fall down the shaft" my keys slid through the crack in the door and down into the shaft.
My room mates, Joe and Ryan, were happy to help me out, providing me with yarn, a clothes hanger, and photo documentary of the event. After some quick preparations, including removing a magnet from the cabinet door beneath the sink, we set off to go fishing. At first it was hard because the magnet stuck to the shaft wall, but eventually I persevered and retrieved my lost keys. Hooray.

Helping Our Friend

2008-10-21T16:52:00.003-07:00

Our friend Wendy fell asleep on our couch yesterday. We couldn't just leave her there all helpless and cold. So, we decided to cover her up. Has anyone seen the play version of Peter Pan? In the play, Peter and the Lost Boys sing a song while they build a house around Wendy. I couldn't resist singing:
"Let's be quiet as a mouse
And build a lovely little house
For Wendy
Oh for Wendy
She's come to stay"

We put all the community chairs around the couch, placed a mattress on top, and then draped blankets over the framework. To finish, we placed a sign that said "Do Not Disturb" on top.I think it was the heat inside the shelter that finally woke her up. Reports say that she awoke "confused, bamboozled, and bewildered."

Creative, or Just Plain Cheap?

2008-10-17T19:03:00.004-07:00

Of all the expenses that college students have to pay, I think laundry outweighs them all. I just can't afford to do it anymore. So, after being ripped off by the broken clothes drier and then taking a look at my rapidly depleting treasury, I decided to take laundry into my own hands.... well, the drying portion of my laundry anyway(The chocolate river is no place to wash clothes, so I still have to pay to use our dorm's laundry facility). The result: an article of clothing hangs on every hangeable space on my side of room. I always wondered when that string would come in handy.

Resulting Story:
Clothes take a very long time to air dry so I have been very limited in my dress options. Today for instance, not having any socks, I wore some tan water sandals. Since I have no dry jeans, I wore blue basketball shorts. On top, I had a red shirt, and since it's cold outside (and inside) I had on my old faded flight jacket. The ensemble, I'm sure, is a hideous fashion No-No, besides the fact that shorts and sandals do little to keep me warm.
This evening we were walking with our friend Wendy in the chilly night air. Wendy, upon seeing me shiver with cold, said, "Well, what did you expect? You're wearing sandals!" I replied, "That's because I have no socks!" Suddenly Wendy burst out laughing. She realized that I was dressed this way because I had to. Apparently she thought my appearance was goofy because I had no fashion sense. It was really funny.

P.S. What's funnier is that I don't have any fashion sense. I would probably dress like this anyway, on a warmer day mind you.

Family Pictures

2008-10-13T16:54:00.004-07:00

Considering that we won't be able to have a complete family portrait for another three years, my mom thought it was appropriate to get our family pictures taken while we were up for the weekend. Those who are familiar with the ritual of "Family Pictures" understand the massive struggle it is to get a whole family in matching clothes, in the car, and then to the set all in one piece. And that isn't even the hardest part. The major conflict is attempting to get ten people to smile at the exact same time. Needless to say, the photo shoot session ended in tears for a few of us.

Homecoming Surprise

2008-10-12T23:57:00.002-07:00

We were excited to come back to school after our weekend in Flagstaff. Our sojourn at our home in the north lasted 3 days and we were a little worried about how our room mates were going to entertain themselves. Apparently, they had more fun than we anticipated. We entered our room only to see that all our furniture had been entirely rearranged to our absolute delight. Our joy was only matched by the joy that overcame Joe upon discovering that I got Dax's old cell phone.

Due for Haircuts

2008-10-07T16:32:00.004-07:00

This weekend we're going back up to Flag to see Dax before he takes off to the MTC and then to Boston, Ma. Sure, seeing Dax will be nice and everything. After all, we won't see him for another 3 years (we leave in a year. Do the math). But what we're most excited for is........ Hair cuts! Our hairs haven't been cut since the day we moved here. Our shagginess demands that we get haircuts ASAP! Gotta keep the missionary look ;)

Note from the Editor:
Dear Readers,
It has come to my attention that some will read the post above and be exceedingly astonished that we would claim to be more excited for haircuts than to see our soon departing brother. Remember that the nature of this blog involves a little bit of humor. We aren't actually more excited for haircuts than Dax. A beard trim maybe, but certainly not haircuts.

Case of Missing Blog Post

2008-09-27T17:37:00.003-07:00

Here's a question for any blog-savvy folks. Why are some of our posts disappearing? Remember the one of us in our work clothes, Dax going on a mission, Dad's house, and the one of us as farmers? What is happening?! Is our blog world collapsing? Please let us know if you have any information regarding the matter, or if you have money or food that you would like to give away.

2008-09-26T21:26:00.003-07:00

This is a couple of our friends at a volleyball game. Enough said. As you can tell from the video, I'm always thinking about the blog. By the way, Bryan was working in the concession stand. Thus, he is not in the video

WARNING: I just realized how shaky and not fun this video is. Don't watch it if you are subject to dizziness, nausea, under the influence of alcohol, prescription or non-prescription drugs, operating heavy machinery, taming a stallion, watching a Suns game, or eating a Big Mac.

A Batch of Heaven

2008-09-24T22:26:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was a day unlike any other in the history of Eastern Arizona College. It's called, "Christmas came early!" How, you might ask? Well, we looked in the mailbox and to our delight we found a package. What was in it? Nothing less than heaven rolled up in cinnamon and covered in frosting. Yes, Grandma Gunnell sent us a batch of her famous cinnamon rolls. Since we opened them, we've hardly eaten anything else. Thanks Grandma!

Tanner Has Culture

2008-09-20T21:38:00.002-07:00

I just got back from El Grito... not actually sure what that means. It must mean "The Fun" because it was so fun. There was delicious FREE Mexican food, Mexican dancing (which I participated in), and so much Mexican Culture! I know I'm a gringo, but I have dark hair and I'm small, so I can kind of blend in. Arrrrrriba! Sometimes I wish I weren't a European mutt, but hey, what can you do?Some people back at home laughed at me for my love of Mariachi and Burritos Fiesta and such. To those people I say, "Look who's having fun at El Grito." Buenos Dias! That's Spanish for Good Dias!

Environmental Adventure

2008-09-16T14:57:00.002-07:00

Every Tuesday for our Environmental Biology class we go on a field trip. Our teacher reminds us of Mr. Ray from Finding Nemo. Today on our adventure we saw a Gila Monster! I called out to him, "Gila Hank! We go to your school! Come back with us!" He didn't listen. Anyway, I think that's really cool since not many people get to see Gila Monsters. We also saw a millipede, but that's not as cool.

Institute Dance

2008-09-15T11:19:00.001-07:00

Friday night was our first Institute dance. The theme was High School stereotypes. People pretty much took that to mean: Any group associated with High School. For example, Joe was a teacher, Ryan was a foreign exchange student, Bryan was a Prom King (not Burger King) and I was a Lunch Man. Our other friends in the picture are Preston (the soccer shirt guy sitting down), Joyce in the black, Wendy as an Emo kid, Adrianna as a Cowgirl (who is getting baptized in October), and Shelby as a Gangsta. We had more fun getting ready for the dance than actually being there. We ended up leaving early to go play Ultimate Frisbee which can be seen below.

The Game of Choice

2008-09-13T00:06:00.005-07:00

Ultimate Frisbee. Oh yeah. We play this game at least once a week. Unfortunately it's too hot to play in the day so we play at night. It gets pretty intense some times. Tonight we happened to have our photographer friend with us to capture us in epic pose. No cut and paste in these pictures.

By the way...

2008-09-12T21:02:00.002-07:00

Since it's so hot in Thatcher, they feel that they need to keep all the buildings at freezing temperatures. Our dorm room is so cold. I do my homework wrapped in a blanket. Bryan is loving it.

The Banquet

2008-09-12T20:55:00.003-07:00

I (Tanner) just got back from a fancy scholarship scholarship banquet. I had to sit at Table 1 with the man giving me the scholarship. The whole thing reminded me so much of "What's Up Doc?" When I was introduced to the man, I saw his comb over and thought to myself "By the way, I love your hair." At one point I said, "Oh my goodness, there goes my napkin" when I accidentally dropped it. It was so funny. Too bad no one else was there to share in such a beautiful moment.
And just so everyone knows, "semi-formal" does NOT mean a polo and slacks! That's what I was wearing when I first walked in. I looked around at all these people in suits and got really scared. Luckily, I had enough time to run back to my room and grab a nice shirt and tie before the dinner started.

Our Environment

2008-08-20T14:07:00.005-07:00

Okay, if you didn't realize before, we don't have a camera down here so most of our pictures have been somewhat fabricated, except for occasional shots taken by our roomates, or the ones I have in my email. That said, here is a picture of the "chocolate river" canal that runs directly behind our dorm building. We don't play in it much anymore since the Augustus Gloop incident.

Eagle Scout

2008-08-19T14:24:00.005-07:00

For those of you who are unaware, I, Sir Tanner Michael Gilliland Esquire, was awarded the rank of Eagle Scout a little while back. Knowing that I wouldn't have a court of honor before I left for college, the generous and beautiful Matt Loper arranged a surprise court of honor at his house, complete with a campfire and his famous homemade rootbeer. What sold it for me was seeing Matt in his traditional native garb. On my finger is one of those eagles that balances on its beak. I know, I was amazed! I too thought they were all lost after the 90's. I know this post doesn't fit chronologically, but felt it should be included.

What brings you on this fine day to the EAC?

2008-08-18T21:19:00.004-07:00

Today was our first day of class. It was actually not that bad. We like the small class sizes where we feel like actual people rather than just numbers. Our professors all seem very friendly and one even managed to get us excited for Environmental Biology! WOW!

the Middle of Nowhere

2008-08-18T14:38:00.002-07:00

We are officially moved to Thatcher, Arizona, a tiny farming community in the middle of nowhere. But hey, we like it. Everybody is really nice, the food is sometimes delicious, and it is super hot compared to Flagstaff. We'll soon update everyone with info on our room, our roomates, and classes.

Dad's House

2008-08-07T11:54:00.004-07:00

Dad's house is officially finished. Don't get too excited. It's not sold yet so we still don't get to do all the fun things that were promised "after the house sells."

Elder Gilliland

2008-08-01T09:54:00.002-07:00

Dax just put in his mission papers and the internet shows that his letter has been sent. His call could come any time. Congratulations Dax!

Off To Work We Go

2008-08-01T09:29:00.005-07:00

August 2 is our last day of work at the Continental Country Club Golf Course. Sad Day. But who knows, we might have time to work there again before our missions. The course has been good to us. It has brought us namely money, but also laughter, tears, and the great feeling of satisfaction from doing the same thing every day, not to mention free golf . We'll miss it.

After Graduation...

2008-08-01T00:26:00.002-07:00

Things have been kind of crazy since graduation. We're trying to get everything done for college, earn mullah, hang out with friends and still enjoy non-stop ninja action. The summer has been great but we're very excited to move on to bigger and better things... as bigger and better as Thatcher gets. I'm sure we'll love it. The poor tiny town won't know what hit it.